To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. What are five of your best physical qualities (yes, that flawless hair of yours counts)? Ok, I was wrong before, this prompt is now the hardest. I’ve had a really strained relationship with my body every since my hysterectomy back in 2018. I’m also in my forties now so my body is continuing to change in ways I wasn’t expecting (in my head I’m still in my twenties). I guess this is called a journaling challenge for a reason.
MY TOP 5 BEST PHYSICAL QUALITIES:
To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. How can you have more grace with yourself? “ This builds on yesterday’s question asking why I deserve grace. Today, I’m coming up with a concrete list of ways that I can actually demonstrate that grace to myself.
5 WAYS TO SHOW OURSELVES MORE GRACE:
To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. Why do you deserve to treat yourself with more grace? Make a list of all the reasons.” This is probably the hardest prompt yet. I am incredibly hard on myself. I think a lot of people find it easier to extend grace to others rather than ourselves. I’m just watching the cursor blink on my ipad - make a list of all the reasons, but how do I even begin? I guess, I’ll start with because I give it to others. Am I not worthy of the same forgiveness and kindness? Maybe instead of a list, it’s time to remember a French commercial I stumbled upon a few years back where two actresses sat in a restaurant for coffee and said aloud to each other the negative things women said about themselves. It made everyone uncomfortable and patrons even stopped to say “Hey, you shouldn’t say such mean things to her.” At the end of the video it simply states, if you wouldn’t say it to someone else don’t say it to yourself. The way we speak to ourselves matters. I need to be reminded of this multiple times a day - sometimes it feels like hundreds. I do deserve the grace, the love and kindness that I extend to others. Let me try this, when I catch myself being mean and negative or too hard on myself, I should say out loud, “I am worthy of grace and I deserve kindness. I love myself as much as I love others.” Maybe we should all do this, as often as we can. Want to tackle this journaling challenge together? Come join us in Conk’s Community. To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. What is your favorite childhood memory? Why is this your favorite moment? “ Birthday’s are hands down my favorite childhood memory. Growing up, we never went without, but we didn’t have money for frivolous things like brand name clothes or that peanut butter jelly that was mixed together in the same jar, but my mother always made sure we had a birthday party. She’d get a boxed cake mix and candles, and let me help decorate (because that was my jam). At my brothers birthday in July, she’d put up the little kiddie pool in the back yard and all the cousins and neighbors would come over and splash around in 2 feet of water having a grand old time.
The absolute biggest thing my mother did was rent out the skating rink for my birthday party. I was not a popular kid. I was weird and got picked on all the time. Kids were mean, but on that one glorious day, all that got put aside. I got to invite my entire grade school class and of course most of them showed up because it was the early nineties and no one turned down a chance to skate for free! I chose that party knowing that it would mean that was the only present I would get from my parents, and that Christmas would be slim too because I was sinking all the gift money into this one shining moment. To this day, I am still filled with nostalgia and a warm fuzzy feeling when I remember whooshing around the rink to some sweet tunes surrounded by all my classmates and cousins. For one day, I wasn’t the weirdo or the kid with divorced parents, or the kid who couldn’t afford anything name brand - I was the kid who was queen of the skating rink. I still celebrate my birthday with cake, and I make sure to celebrate other people’s birthdays too, because everyone deserves to have a little magic in their lives, even if it’s just for an afternoon. Want to tackle this journaling challenge together? Come join us in Conk’s Community. To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. Question of the day: What do you absolutely love about your life right now? THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW:
Want to tackle this journaling challenge together? Come join us in Conk’s Community. To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. What are five things you love about your personality and attitude towards life overall? FIVE THINGS I LOVE:
Want to tackle this journaling challenge together? Come join us in Conk’s Community. To help me be more consistent and curb writers block, I’m doing the “30 Day Killer Journaling Challenge for Self Love and Self Discovery” created by Isabelle Dias. If you’d like to take the challenge yourself, click the link for a full list of prompts. Question of the day: Why are you starting this challenge, and what things do you hope to change during those 30 days? I’m tackling this challenge because I’m already in the midst of a challenge to write a blog post every day for 100 days (and I’ve been spotty and a tad forgetful). I also know that getting started is sometimes the hardest part and maybe by sitting down and doing the damn thing, I’ll encourage someone else to do the same.
The second part of this question is a little trickier. I think I’d like to be a little (or maybe a lot) less hard on myself. My neurodivergent brain constantly gets frozen in analysis paralysis and then I get judgey with myself for being trapped in the cycle. I tell people all the time to embrace who they are and live life authentically and unapologetically but I don’t always follow my own advice. In the next 30 days, I’d like to have a clearer picture of what I want for my life in this moment, what will make me happiest, and maybe even have a plan for how to finally get the ball rolling downhill. Want to tackle this challenge together? Come join us in Conk’s Community. I brought this on myself,
with an impulse purchase - hoping to make some positive change - to move in any direction that isn’t stuck on my ass in my pajamas ADHD paralyzed. So, in that regard, I suppose this is progress. And who doesn’t love a quest? Who knows, I could still encounter a dragon, maybe even a luck dragon - this 80’s kid can dream. I finally found my tracker and realized that if I don’t post at the start of the day, I wander off or forget by evening. I’m going to do my best to continue to be consistent, but instead of going for a straight 100 calendar days, I’ve decided to continue this little experiment until I have 100 posts. This experiment has me contemplating the world from a much broader perspective. If I miss a day, how can I reconfigure both my expectations and the process as a whole? Thus writing 100 posts even if there is a small gap here and there.
I’m also reconsidering my perspective on my house. I had a vision for remodeling one room at a time, but financially, ripping out lath and plaster and replacing it with sheetrock isn’t in the cards right now. Let’s take the bathroom as the biggest “for example”. I attempted, years ago now, to start stripping the paint off all the woodwork. It proved much more difficult than I anticipated, thus there we are left with patches of partially stripped wood here and there. It looks awful and is somewhat depressing. It occurred to me the other day while soaking in the bath that I can in fact just refresh the paint for now and abandon my previous vision for now. I’m an adult, my husband and I own this house, we could put up wood paneling and turn this place into a pirate ship if we were so inclined (which I am definitely not). The point is, I’ve been thinking about the entire process too narrowly. I can make aesthetic changes such as paint, decorations, and curtains saving the major renovations for someday when we have more funding. There is no reason I have to lie in the bath and stare at partially stripped wood patches simply because I can’t afford to gut and remodel the entire bathroom. In fact, I’ve also found a delightful Instagram account that has inspired me! This is my home, and I can make it my home. Granted there will have to be some agreement between my husband and I, but he is generally gracious and not picky. Like me, he’d much rather be in a space that is beautiful and feels good than something cluttered and half finished. Right now, I’m in the pinterest stages and plotting my creation. Stay tuned. It’s day 23 and this is my 20th post, so I’m at roughly an 87% completion rate so far for the 100 day challenge. I’m alright with that considering I misplaced my tracker and haven’t been ticking off the days (visual aids are extremely important when your brain is disorganized). I got one of those monthly habit trackers that goes in a circle and I fell into a pit of despair after three days. Something about missing a day just makes my neurodivergent brain give up hope. I do better with things that aren’t linear.
Right now I’m staring down my coffee table that is perpetually gathering clutter and realizing that I have to be to work in less than an hour today. I’ve come to the end of my motivation to write, and sometimes we have to accept that it’s a bare minimum kind of day and love ourselves anyway. |
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June 2023
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