I committed to wearing the same dress for 100 days and I actually did it. So now, I’ve decided why not try something else? How about writing a post every day for 100 days? Something about that prospect is terrifying, like locking myself into the inevitability of failure, but to fail would mean that I tried. There is no possibility for growth or change without the trying part. Putting ourselves out there can be really freaking scary, but it can also challenge and change us in ways we never imagined.
The older I get, the more experiences I have, the more I realize that the universe is full of limitless surprises. When my husband and I got engaged back in 2012, I was living 121 miles away in a totally different town, and I distinctly remember lying in bed wondering how on earth we were ever going to make this thing work. How would I get from where I was to where he was and put our lives together under one roof? It honestly seemed impossible at the time but then, I got a teaching job in a town commuting distance from where he lived, packed up a U-Haul, and moved in with him.
Now, over ten years later, I’m sitting in the living room of the house he and I bought together watching my puppy chase my cats while my older dog frets in disapproval. I left teaching in 2017 which was never part of my plan. I’ve managed a gift shop, been a substitute teacher, an administrative assistant several times over, and am, at this very moment, transitioning back to part time because my arthritis and other health issues simply won’t allow me to sit at a desk 40 hours a week anymore.
I have absolutely no idea what comes next with my job or my health, but instead of being terrified, I’m trying to take deep breaths. I’m trying to remember all the things the universe has sent to me over the years that I didn’t even know were coming - that I didn’t even know I needed. Not everything will be good or easy, but I take comfort in the words of Ernest Hemingway, “We can be destroyed, but not defeated”.
No matter what is waiting for me around the corner, good or bad, I can grow and evolve. I can rebuild. I can receive the universe’s gifts with an open heart. So, here’s to 100 days - I look forward to meeting the me that is waiting on the other side.
Creating my own sunshine 🌞