Somehow, I mustered the gumption to attend water aerobics today. This marks the first time in ages that I have managed to go to the gym five days in a row. I did go over my calorie goal by 200 and indulged in a Whopper, but hey, you win some, you lose some. Things are also looking up for meeting my step goal this week, so I'm making strides. I think I just have to keep challenging myself to do a little more each day. Setbacks happen, but I've just got to jump back in the water and head for the next buoy. My post surgery weight limit was 15 pounds and I've worked my way up to lifting my dog (she weighs 21 pounds). Now, I've set my sites on being able to lift the free weight bar again. Let's do this!
I've said it once and I'll say it again. Peeps are a culinary abomination. They have zero nutritional value and only crazy people eat them (she says as she stuffs a Peep into her face). These little disasters are my holiday weakness. I just can't stop eating them. Even since I started counting calories, I still find a way to fit them into my daily budget. Just a few minutes ago, I was at Walgreen's, minding my own business and waiting on a prescription when I saw them - chocolate dipped coconut Peeps. Why do you do this to me food gods? You know I am weak. Turns out I can eat the whole package for only 150 calories (empty, nutritionless, delicious calories), so of course, I bought them. As I write this blog, I am still sipping my tea and licking the chocolate off my guilty, guilty lips.
Why can't healthy food be this good? Don't get me wrong, I adore fresh veggie stir fry and savory tofu with udon noodles, but processed food is like dope (sweet, savory, chocolate covered dope). I've read enough articles and watched enough documentaries in my life to know that corporations do this on purpose. They have teams of scientists who sell their soul to the almighty dollar and work tirelessly in their dark, secret labs using science to create the most tasty and irresistible combinations (I like to imagine them cackling manically). I admire people who go Vegan or raw and then post all of their healthy life choices on social media (this is inevitably followed by pictures of their new healthy body and chiseled abs). They clearly have better scruples or are more masochistic than me. I live less than 6 blocks from Burger King, McDonald's, and Subway. Oh, but these same people no longer crave bad food. They have lost their taste for it and are now repulsed by the thought of eating it. Why can't this be me? Why don't my crap food receptors ever turn off? And how, how in the name of all that is holy do these people sit across from their friends who are devouring quadruple cheese stuffed burritos slathered in sour cream? I'd be licking them for the residual cheese on their skin. Maybe someday I too will break free from my indentured servitude to the corporate food empire. Maybe I will have chiseled abs. For today, I will enjoy my 150 nutritionless calories and be satisfied that I have discovered a love for rutabaga. All those endorphins kind of made me feel like I had super powers. This turns out to be untrue. I showed up to the gym 30 minutes before class and milled around the pool staring at old people. Although the water doesn't even get up to six feet deep, I am still able to tread if I sit in the chair position and use shallow kicks. Turns out treading uses a lot more muscles than I remember. Half way through water aerobics, parts of me started complaining loudly about the previous days work outs, and I was reminded that not only did I add two new machines to the rotation, I also have not gone to the gym this many days in a row for a long, long time. I survived the class, but crawled to the shower. All in all, I'm glad I went but it's a good thing tomorrow is Ai Chi. There is no way my body will let me do another endurance workout tomorrow.
On another note, I went to the grocery store post work out and bought so many vegetables. Tonight we had roasted rutabaga, carrots, and asparagus served with udon noodles and sweet and sour tofu. It was so good I almost cried. Speaking of tears, have you ever tried Oreo thins? I know they aren't healthy, but you can eat 4 of them for the same number of calories as 2 regular Oreos. This makes my heart happy. Today, in the cookie isle, the heavens opened up and fat baby cherubs sang. The thins now come in coconut and in coconut fudge dipped bites. Thank God for cookies and prescription strength ibuprofen. These are the things that make life worth living. Now, I'm going to lie down and not move for at least ten hours. Maybe I'll eat some cookies. ENDORPHINES. I got me that natural high. I just want to stop random strangers on the street and yell "Woo! Yeah!" followed by a vigorous chest bump. Yesterday, after errand running and aqua yoga I made curtains for my craft room (and none of that short cut fabric glue nonsense I usually succumb to). I drug out my 60's era Singer and cranked me out some draperies. Then, I made dinner - curry roasted eggplant. Two discoveries were forth coming: First, I hate roasted eggplant, and second, I really like curry (it smells divine). I have not entirely given up on eggplant, but it definitely goes on the back burner until I can get the memory of that seedy, spiced sludge out of my head.
Today, I popped out of bed like a daisy 15 minutes before my alarm went off. I was so full of adrenaline filled exuberance this morning that I went to the gym early and walked around the track for a few laps before my training session (I've got just over 4,000 steps in before breakfast). I also attempted the machine that is like skiing (maybe some type of elliptical) but only made it for a minute thirty before my thighs threatened to kill me. I've never had any luck with ellipticals, but maybe someday I'll make it for two minutes! Regardless, I still kicked my own ass today! For the first time since the surgery in October, I was able to complete sets on the assisted pull up and rowing machines. I was sweating like a water buffalo on a hot day and I earned my long, long shower. Now, I'm off to work on filling up my bladder for my two o'clock kidney scan and to see what other projects need annihilating. Woo! Yeah! I did it. I went to aqua yoga. Now, if you had been watching from the sidelines, you'd probably think, "That looks stupidly easy." And you'd be as blissfully naive as I was three and a half hours ago. First, I have to say that any illusions I had about attending the traditional land yoga class on Thursday have now been laughably dismissed. Anyone who is a yoga veteran, or in good physical shape, would probably have found the class very basic and much like a warm up. I, on the other hand, am now very aware of my abs (and my butt cheeks, and my calves...). It was exactly the type of exercise that I've been looking for: something to challenge my post surgery body, but not leave me sprawled out like road kill for three days post work out. Also, it was incredibly relaxing. They teach the class out of the warm water therapy pool and the vast majority of your poses are supported by gentle currents of water. There is a reason I liken myself to a manatee. Water is my zen. My body starts cranking out endorphins the minute I get a whiff of chlorine (mostly likely attributed to my swim team days). I am so taking this class again. And, instead of regular yoga on Thursday, I'm going to try aqua Ai Chi. As of this moment, I've got 4,788 of my 6,000 steps for the day, I've run all of my errands, and I had a delicious vegetable salad. Who knows what else I might accomplish? I'm running on a high and the lawn gnomes who live in my head a performing a pre-game Haka (for those of you who don't know, I hate football, but I love rugby). The New Zeland All Blacks traditionally do a Haka (or war cry) to intimidate the other team. One of the best and most amusing videos I've ever seen for this is a 2007 video titled "Rabbids can't play rugby". I'm gonna rugby tackle the rest of this week like a poor scared Rabbid. Score two for Manadee. I finally did it! After several incredibly rough weeks and some discouraging set backs, I blew this weeks step goal out of the water. I set my sights on 30,000 (roughly 4,300 a day) as I have been struggling for weeks just to hit that mark. With final calculations tallied, I finished Saturday with a total of 38,164 steps. Even if it doesn't seem like much, it was my pile of bricks and I finally moved it. I'm doing the happy dance and it's smoother than butter on a bald monkey (thanks Veggie tales for the awesome analogy). Next week, I set my sights on 42,000 steps and I hope to begin the week with Aqua Yoga. Wish me luck! Confession: I have never eaten a rutabaga in my life. To be honest, I had to Google "rutabaga" just to wrap my brain around what exactly I was looking for in the grocery store. But, Thug Kitchen 101 assured me that it would be delicious, so I said what the hell and threw caution to the wind. Turns out, it was amazing! Somewhere between a cabbage and a potato with a little turnipy kick. Ian wasn't completely sold, but said he would eat it again if we had some dipping sauce. The accompanying Nutburger was equally magnificent. Look at me, eating my vegetables.
Guess what else? It's only Saturday morning and I've already blown this week's step goal out of the water! It was a low goal, but I've been struggling to hit it for weeks. I'm telling you, this manadee tattoo has changed my life. I've got all this perspective and now I'm really rolling to the beat. Next week, I've got an ambitious goal but I figure if I post it in my blog then I can't say it didn't happen. I'm going to try and go to some classes at the gym each day. We'll see how I feel, but I choose to be wildly optimistic. Monday is Aqua Yoga, Tuesday equals personal training session, Wednesday and Friday will be water aerobics, and Thursday will be Yoga. I'm also taking on maple sweet potatoes (which I know I'll love) and curry roasted eggplant (which I am terrified of). Maybe manadee should have a cape? Also, I am thrilled with the urology doctor I met on Thursday. I didn't have to have my bladder scoped, and she's pretty sure it's not my kidney! Woo! She did order a bunch of blood tests and schedule me a renal ultrasound just to be on the safe side. So far, it looks like whatever is wrong with me can be cured with the right pills. Till then, I'm off to conquer a load of laundry and an eggplant. Vaya con dios mi amigos. |
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June 2023
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