Cue inspirational music montage
Despite the rocky start to my week, I have managed to make a comeback. I just need 8,806 steps today to make my goal. I can do this. Like I said, I can't believe that I've stayed with it this long. At work, where they pay me, I'm a zombie (you can shoot me, drag me behind a car, or set me on fire - but if it's not a head shot, I just keep going). At home, I have a little less wherewithal. I start with a bang and end with a meh.
This is important to me though - for so many reasons. I'm 36 years old, and some days I feel like I'm 96. My body is tired and scarred. I'm 80 pounds overweight, and everything hurts. I've got fibromyalgia. My insides hate me and I'm really good at stunts (like falling down the stairs and going through the drywall). I'm not old, but I will be someday and I want to be the lady who is taking on her bucket list, not the lady who's falling apart.
Believe me, my Facebook feed has at least 3 very impressive people who have radically altered their diet and attacked fitness like a ravenous bear. They post pictures of their new body and all their new food and tell others to get off their butt and change their life. I'm a little jealous, honestly. Food is my comfort, my passion, my friend on a rainy day. I know that is a bridge I will have to rebuild when the time comes, but it is not my place to start. Asking me to give up pizza after a long day at work is like signing up someone who can't walk 2 blocks for a full marathon and expecting them to succeed.
Fitbit is my starting place. This blog is my starting place. It's been hard for me, some days physically exhausting, to get my steps in. But I started in a reasonable place - 42,000 steps in 7 days (roughly 6,000 steps a day). And it doesn't matter if I have a really crappy day where I get less than 2,000, I just push harder another day because I need to get to my goal. This week, I'm up to 49,000 steps and I'm going to make it (maybe by the skin of my teeth, but it's happening).
Every week I up the ante. I'm terrified because, at first, these goals can be met by doing laps through my living room/dining room, or taking on a closing sale at work, but eventually, there will have to be more. I will have to take on walks around town, swimming, and maybe even riding a bike. Staying with this goal pushes me to do more. The hard truth is that, eventually, there will be a week I can't do all the steps or a thing I just can't do. That's not what's important though. What is important is to get back up, dust myself off, and try again.
I have lived with my physical limitations for a very long time. Now, I will stop comparing myself to other people. Now, I will celebrate my victories (no matter how small) because they are mine. Now, I will see just how far I can go.
Creating my own sunshine 🌞