Et tu, Waffles?

     Turns out the insurance company didn't want to pay for my CPAP machine and that's why I had to wait so long to get it. They said that there is still a chance that the insurance company will deny the claim even after they have said they will cover it. This is so frustrating, but I have my machine now and there's not much I can do now but wait and see. I haven't had any miraculous improvements in my sleep, but I've only had it for two nights and I have to get used to sleeping with a contraption on my face. I can say that I don't have headaches when I wake up anymore, so far, and that's a good thing. No one actually went over the results of my sleep study with me, so I have no idea what they found other than I have apnea.
     In other news, I was sad that I gained a lot of weight over the last two months, then I was relieved because the insurance nurse's scale said I had not gained that much, then I was sad again because we bought a new scale and it agreed with our first scale. After all that drama, I can now say with confidence that I have definitely gained back 25 of the pounds I originally lost. And, worst of all, I gained all that in less than two months. What I don't get is that all of my smaller clothes still fit, all be it a little more snugly, but they aren't busting at the seams. It doesn't make any sense. I know I have been eating poorly, really poorly, and not controlling my portions, but I still don't understand how I've stayed the same size. People say it's because I've been going to the gym, but 2 days a week of personal training doesn't put on 25 pounds of muscle.
     I'm still working on my stickers though, and up to 14. I think part of my problem is that I get overwhelmed. My brain gets all worked up about all the things I need to do, or want to accomplish and then says "Forget this, we can't do this, lets just watch Netflix and eat stuff." It's just part of my eternal struggle for a happy medium. Right now, I'm just waiting for the sunshine I was promised and trying to convince myself to put on pants. I'll let you know how that goes.