Today, I don’t feel like writing a blog post, but I’m here because I committed. Sometimes we just have to dig deep, deep inside ourselves and grab hold of our “oh yes I can”. These are the moments it’s most important to have a clearly established why - a reason we can fall back on when we’ve started to forget the point of doing a thing in the first place. So, what is my why?
I could have chosen a million things to do for 100 days, why exactly did I choose writing a blog post? Because, for as long as I can remember, writing has been my most authentic means of self expression. I kept a dear diary or journal all through middle school and high school (which I burned much later in life as an act of catharsis and letting go of some serious trauma). I have notebooks full of poetry I’ve created in some of my darkest times. Writing is what has kept me sane, but at some point over the last decade, I just kind of let it lapse. I started a blog, quit a blog, started a new blog, quit that blog, wrote this very blog for a while consistently and then vanished into the night just as quickly as I began.
Somewhere between the ups and downs of living and all the shit that goes along with ADHD and chronic pain, I forgot the power of writing shit down to get it out of my head. That’s why I chose this challenge. That’s precisely why I’m writing a blog every day for 100 days - to remind myself of the power of writing for expression. I’m forcing myself to let go of my agonizing perfectionism and to just sit down and clickety clack on the keyboard and see what comes out. I mean, I didn’t think that I had anything to say today and we’ve got three paragraphs. Clearly, I’ve got a lot more to learn from this exercise - here’s to day 10.
Creating my own sunshine 🌞