January 25th, 2019

    So, I tried to write a post several days ago and when I clicked publish, the entire thing disappeared. I'm just now giving it another go and you better believe I'm clicking copy/paste before I post this time. Geesh. Anyway, the eat what you have challenge lasted exactly two days. I didn't make meatballs on Tuesday when I had time, so Wednesday when I didn't have time, there was no food. I knew I should have prepped in advance for that specific moment because exactly what happened, would happen. But here we are. 
     I have put on 20 pounds in less than 2 months. I can't seem to stop eating. I have a ravenous and insatiable appetite but have been faithfully entering every calorie into my LoseIt app so I know exactly how bad it's been. I've also woke up with a headache every single morning and been horribly exhausted and irritable throughout the day. I was diagnosed with sleep apena last week, and while I can't blame all my bad habits on that, I did find out that all of my symptoms, including the weight gain and ravenous appetite, can be brought on by apnea. When you don't get sleep your body starts self destructing. I'm hoping they send the machine soon. The doctor said it can take up to 3 weeks to arrive.
     I managed to exercise two days last week. I just didn't have the energy to do any more on top of work. Again, I'm hoping that the machine will help with this. I've never been one to buy into the hype of weight loss supplements, and I know that natural doesn't always mean safe, but I've been seriously considering an appetite suppressant. If you saw me, you'd understand. I eat like a person possessed and I'm always hungry. the thing is, it's nearly impossible find something that is stimulant free, affordable, and doesn't interact with the black cohosh in my menopause multivitamin. A lot of weight loss drugs have ashwaganda and that shouldn't be taken in conjunction with black cohosh. Sigh.
     My besties are coming down this weekend, so I must go prepare for work and a most excellent party. Cross your fingers that the apnea machine arrives soon and that it will exercise the food demons.