Make your own kind of Music…

I have been fighting the mess of my house for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, my parents actually took a picture of my bedroom for posterity because they said no one would believe just how messy it actually was. My clutter has clutter and it feels like an insurmountable mountain. As I’m discovering, this is a fairly common theme among people with ADHD. There’s actually science behind why it’s so damn hard to get my shit together.
    It has to do with a lack of dopamine and executive dysfunction (a topic I will be tackling in a future podcast episode). For now, suffice it to say that I end up in comfy pants binge watching Netflix instead of tackling the mountain more often than not which leads to feelings of frustration, overwhelm, and defeat. I actually WANT a more organized space, I thrive on it and even feel inspired by it. I’m at my best creatively and emotionally in an orderly environment, I just can’t seem to get there.
     This year, I turn 42 and Douglas Adams once said that’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything. I’ve been focusing my energy really hard on this finally being the year I get my shit together, but it occurs to me that I’m going at this from the wrong angle. Maybe, instead, this should be the year that I finally stop judging myself and punishing myself for falling short. 
     I’ve been focusing so much energy on making my life look like someone else’s Instagram feed that I lost sight of me. I don’t need to be someone else, and neither do you. Our messy imperfection is what makes us human. And this year, I’m going to work really hard on embracing that, on learning how to create a life that fits me. As Momma Cass once said, “you gotta make your own kind of music, you got to sing your own special song, even if no one else sings along.” 
     I don’t know about you, but I like the sound of that. Let’s make a promise to each other that this year, we sing at the top of our lungs even if everyone else thinks it’s off key.