DEEDRE CONKEY
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Blog
Picture

Meet me in the middle...

9/28/2018

Comments

 
Picture
     I have hard core issues with gray. It's either black or white and there is absolutely never anything in between. Good and evil, success and failure, love and hate - there are no thin lines for me, just history book size walls and where something falls shifts with my mood. By nature, I am eccentric and boisterous, all the colors in the spectrum, so why then, do I draw such hard lines in the concrete about putting things in boxes? Probably because boxes are safe, neatly tucked behind their lines. Boxes give order to chaos, but I'll be the first to admit, that both the lines and the boxes are an illusion. We all have very little real control over our lives. The world can shift and change in the blink of an eye and suddenly, the content of those boxes is scattered all over the front lawn and even the neighbor's roof.
     I'm starting my evolution by sitting on the love seat this morning, writing this blog. Like I said, I've been away too long and my head is like a champagne bottle that got shook up in a paint mixer. Some people can give a little bit to 12 different projects at once and maintain perfect balance. I, on the other hand, go all in with one thing to the detriment and exclusion of all the other things. It's like this video I saw of a little kid trying to put tennis balls back in the container - every time he put one in, he bent over to pick up another and dumped the previous one back on the floor.
     There has to be a way for me to find my own balance. I refuse to believe that I'm just stuck behind these divisions I've built. Even thinking about it cranks the static in my brain up to 10. That means I'm on the right track. In my search for gray, I'm starting with this blog. Ten minutes ago, I had no idea what I was going to say, and here I am three paragraphs in. Clearly, I have stuff to work through. My husband asked me a good question the other night, "Did you do anything for fun today?" As a matter of fact, no. I've been so focused on all the tennis balls I've been dropping that I haven't really taken time to do what makes my heart happy. I shall soon make a return to the quest for the impossible pants. It's been a while since I braved trying them on. And, my birthday party is tomorrow! I must go to Hobby Lobby, I've got some T-shirts to make! 
Comments

    Author

    Creating my own sunshine 🌞
    🎙Host/Author Conk's 🧠 podcast & blog
    🌺Encouraging others to grow 

    Archives

    December 2022
    July 2022
    March 2022
    June 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed


  • Home
  • About Me
  • Blog