DEEDRE CONKEY
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oh yes i can…

4/22/2023

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     Chronic pain sucks. My knees hurt so bad last night that I dreamed about them. It’s this stupid weather that can’t make up it’s mind: warm for a few days then cold, then warm again. The most frustrating thing about all this is that my mobility is affected. Arthritis in my hips and knees means that I can no longer drop it like it’s hot, or some days, even walk my dogs to the park two blocks away. Yes, there are things I can do to help, but what has me screaming into the void is that this isn’t something I can totally reverse. 
     There’s no amount of stretches I can do or laps I can swim to change the fact that I’ve got fibromyalgia and arthritis. What I can absolutely do is not give up. Some days I will be able to do more, and some less (or barely anything at all), but the only way I can know what’s possible is to try every day and be patient with myself.     
​     Yes, there will be things I just can’t do, but I owe it to myself to not decide what those are ahead of time. I have to go into each new day with a heart open to discovery. It’s not about figuring out what I can’t do, it’s about figuring out what I can and that’s an adventure worth getting out of bed for.

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